Well, WoW its been awhile, here are a few quick updates, I have moved out of T&B's house now and I live in a cute little 1+ bedroom apartment on the NE side of Rochester. I am 34 weeks pregnant, so in the home stretch!!!! Finally! My baby shower is coming up on April 20th, I'm so excited cuz then i can start setting up babies room finally! I'm a little worried she might come early, I had a doctors appt yesterday and i've been right on for measurements until this appt now i'm measuring as more than i should be 35 instead of 34in. My doctor thinks I might go early but who knows, I've been having contractions also, which adds to my worry but doc says im healthy I just need to slow down lol. Apparently trying to do everything you used to do before you got pregnant when your about ready to pop isn't the greatest thing. I find its even harder now adays too cuz i spend most of my time trying to find the nearest rest room.
Oh and another thing I'm extremely proud of my mom for the first time in a long time. She went to school and got her CNA and is now working at the nursing home where my grandpa is staying which is fantastic. She passed in the higher part of her class and loves what she is doing. I guess in all of this it might sound alright, but i'm still so scared that im not going to be able to handle being a single mom, babies daddy is there but not all "there" if you know what I mean. I guess drugs and alcohol will do that to you. I just wish he would go back to being the person I fell for, he was just a geek too scared to barely touch a girl and had never done drugs in his life. But that will never happen. Those days are over... :( I guess I'm just worried that money is going to be an issue, maybe I won't be a good mom, i'm just waiting for my BF J to leave me once the baby comes cuz he will finally realize what i've been going thru and that its not just me and him anymore and he wont like the whole idea. Hes weirded out by it now which i completely understand shes not even his. I just wish that i knew without a doubt that hes not going to leave me high and dry cuz he gets too scared. I know we will always be friends but ahhhhH! Thats not what I want to happen. Thats not the way I want to know him. I'm afraid that all the things that some of my family believes will be proven true that I wont be able to handle it on my own that I will fail miserably. It sucks that for the first time in my life, I'm actually getting back on my feet and making something of myself and I could use/deserve the support of my family emensely but they always see the faults. I guess thats my fault but i've worked so hard to turn that around and it just didn't work. Anyway, I have to get going, i have to go work some OT. anyway i'll update more this weekend, i have my childbirth class tonight and tomorrow.
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Brandi- do you need a crib? I have one that B&T gave me and we are about to get Ellie into a big girl bed... so just let me know and it's yours! I also have some clothes/toy/blankets/etc that you can have. I'll have to start going through my things.
I have a real cute baby einstein mobile for the crib that we never even used... if you want it.
Call or email me. Kris
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