So it's starting to become a pattern that I post about once a month lol. Anyway, the big news is that I moved back to Red Wing, MN my home town. I have my own place with my daughter. I'm still in the process of finding a job but a couple of things are looking promising! :)
Abby is getting super big now. She is a little over 9 months old and getting super close to walking! And she is getting smarter and smarter with every hour that goes by it seems. Her new thing is to find a glass that mommy has been drinking from pick it up and take a drink without even spilling on her self! WOW.

My BF TJ and I are doing great. I've never been happier with anyone. He is great with Abby too. He loves to spoil her and play with her. He also likes to give her treats even after I say no! That's gonna stop pronto. Don't need the whole good/bad guy thing going on. Above there is a picture of Abby with his hat on one morning when they were playing. I guess she was trying to be a gangster baby lol.

Other than that not much has been going on. Except my sister reached the big 35 today! We are 14 years apart so I like to give her crap about her age. I'll tell ya one thing though she definately doesn't look that old!

I'm off to bed. Don't worry I'll post sooner than a month away lol.

New Beginnings

Wow it's been a long time since I've posted! So here is an update. I'm now 21. Just turned so yesterday. My daughter is now a little over 8 months old. She is getting so super big! There has been a lot going on in my life for the past months. I lost my job back in October and I'm still in the process of finding another one. Yes I know it's been awhile and I'll be the first to admit I slacked off on getting one. I'm living with one of my friends J again. My life has sorta been in an extended stall pattern since I lost my job. I got a really big wake up call a couple of days ago though. My best friend in the whole world decided she was sick of me wasting my life away and is sick of it. She wants me to change my life before she will talk to me again. Along with that she introduced me to this amazing man that happened to be her fiance's best friend. We hit it off from the day that we met. So we started seeing each other and it was a whole different world. It got me out of my normal circle of drama filled people and he showed me that I really could be truly happy again. He's treated me better than anyone has ever treated me before. He makes me feel like I can move the world if I wanted too. But I messed up... go figure I'm good at that... I depended on my ex- to help me out with some money to pay my phone bill until I got my income tax return back. Big mistake. He offered I didn't ask but when he offered the only thing that jumped into my mind is that I would be able to talk to my new bf again. That's all I cared about. Nothing else was on my mind. My new bf TJ was coming down for the weekend the next day last Friday... and so I really didn't need my phone back on at that moment... but I did it anyway. I never should have and I'm suffering the repercussions from doing it now. My bf TJ won't barely talk to me neither will my bestest best friend in the entire world. They want to see me get my life back on track, and MAYBE then they will give me another chance. I hope to god that they will. It's really opened my eyes to what I've been doing... Nothing. I could be doing so much more for me and my daughter. I spent my 21st birthday at home. Not drinking. My baby was with her biological father and his fiance for the night. I was a wreck. My bf wouldn't come see me on my birthday and my best friend is so mad at me I hate it. I spent most of the night crying watching sappy girlie movies. Lame I know. TJ finally talked to me this morning about how he felt about all of it though and I am making changes already. I am going to look at a new apartment tomorrow and I have to call on a couple of job interviews. I can't wait. No one thinks I can turn my life around and change. But that's one thing that I can't stand. Being told I can't do something when I know I can. I can't wait for the reaction. I'm going to change everything and prove to everyone that I'm a changed person. Prove to myself that I can do it. I can't wait to finally have my own place again and do whatever whenever I want. Getting a job is going to help me big time too. I don't like being away from my baby but I have too.

Wish me luck. I'm hoping to have a job and apartment by the end of the week. At the very latest the 21st. I hope that everything will work out with me and TJ and my best friend and her family. I'm willing to do anything to make it happen I just hope it's enough. I'll post again soon.

New Pictures!

Update pictures! Abigail is now 11 wonderful weeks old and growing like a weed! Shes 13 pounds and 23 and 3/4 inches long!

My fiance Ben with Abbi at the hospital after my best friend Tabby had her baby!!!

pictures!

Here are some pictures I will add more soon!

Abigail Jo Veith Born: May 25, 2008

8 pounds 1 ounce

19 inches long

Joshua and Abigail

My dad and his first grandbaby !

<--The ride home was exhausting!

She's so beautiful! :)

Fed UP!

Lack of sleep really stinks, I'm due in about a week so literally she could come at anytime, but I'm swelling so bad that it hurts and I can barely walk it feels like im walking on packets of fluid that will burst if i stand up and put full pressure on them. I am finally at the stage in my pregnancy where I'm absolutley FED UP with being pregnant! And she needs to just come already! I can't be comfortable, I literally can not sleep unless I'm sitting up in a 90 degree angle, (the fluid builds up on one side of my body if i lay on one side too long and it hurts really bad so i toss and turn at night so i can't sleep).

Anyway, hopefully it will all be over soon. keep your fingers crossed for really really soon!

The weekend from H-E-double hockey sticks!

First of all I just want to say I love my nieces to death and I would do anything for them...But they are driving me bonkers! T&B are in Las Vegas this weekend they come back tomorrow thank goodness... (lol), So I said I would watch the girls. Alright so lets put this a little bit more in perspective for you, I'm about 16 days away from my due date, I feel like I am my own galaxy, and I swell so bad now I turn purple! And lets just say chasing after a 8 and 4 year old all weekend really has me stressed. Plus they have the mom and dad are away so the mice will play syndrome. You know what I mean you've been there the one where hey lets see what I can get away with since mom and dad are gone and how far I can push Auntie before she freaks sorta thing? Anyway, All I have to say is YAY for bed time!!!! :)
Straying away from the girls terrors, I'm am absolutley terrified of going into labor. I mean yes I want her to come out of me finally but I'm so scared that something is going to go wrong during labor or that after she is here I won't be a good mom, or my biggest fear, I won't be able to make it financially I'm so scared that I'm not going to be able to make it its not even funny. And the thing that sucks about that is I've been working so hard to get ahead but I'm not really ahead I'm just well caught up. I've been trying to prove to everyone (my family and friends) that I can do this on my own, but honestly the biggest fear I have about being a single mom is that I'm going to prove my whole family right and not be able to make it on my own and have to ask them for help with money. Cuz really I think that is the biggest issue I'm going to have which is the worst one to have. But yeah anyway, enough freaking out sorry... :S
I start a new work schedule on Tuesday, Overnights woohoo! Yeah I know your thinking, what overnights are you crazy? But its a Tuesday thru Saturday 3:00am-12:00pm shift. I'm going to be making an extra 1.50$ an hour for week days and if I work both weekend days then I'll get an extra 4.00$ per hour for any hours worked on Sat and Sun. I think can deal with that :). Anyway hope everyone had a good weekend!

Time is flying!

Well, I had my baby shower last sunday, It was really fun I got a lot of stuff. I'm an elmo freak and luckily one of my girl friends is too :) cuz she got me a bunch of elmo outfits they are soo cute. Unfortunately my cousin K and little cuzin E couldn't come E's been really sick. But hopefully she is getting better I haven't heard anything for awhile. So I'm 36 weeks pregnant today. WOW. I'm huge lol that's all i have to say. I feel like I'm my own planet. Ha ha. Anyway, Doc says I'm prolly going to go early so I'm just getting ready for it to happen any time. I'm going to find out more tomorrow at my doc appt. Sleep is becoming more and more impossible to accomplish its so hard to get comfortable. I toss and turn all the time. But other than that, I'm feeling ok way too tired all the time but it will all be over and way worth it shortly :). Oh and the biggest new thing that has happened!!!! Baby's daddy finally bought her something! He got her, her Travel System (car seat and stroller combined). Its so Adorable. If you google "Babytrend Orange Oak Travel System" you will be able to see a pic of the one i got. Its fantastic I love it. I still need things though like bottles, more clothes, diapers, wipes, socks, and some breast feeding supplies. I'm going to try and breast feed for at the most 6 months but if I can't at the very least I want to do it while I'm home on leave. But yeah anyway off to work I go I'm still squeezing in a little Overtime while I feel ok till the baby comes:) every little bit helps :)

Long time no Blog...

Well, WoW its been awhile, here are a few quick updates, I have moved out of T&B's house now and I live in a cute little 1+ bedroom apartment on the NE side of Rochester. I am 34 weeks pregnant, so in the home stretch!!!! Finally! My baby shower is coming up on April 20th, I'm so excited cuz then i can start setting up babies room finally! I'm a little worried she might come early, I had a doctors appt yesterday and i've been right on for measurements until this appt now i'm measuring as more than i should be 35 instead of 34in. My doctor thinks I might go early but who knows, I've been having contractions also, which adds to my worry but doc says im healthy I just need to slow down lol. Apparently trying to do everything you used to do before you got pregnant when your about ready to pop isn't the greatest thing. I find its even harder now adays too cuz i spend most of my time trying to find the nearest rest room.
Oh and another thing I'm extremely proud of my mom for the first time in a long time. She went to school and got her CNA and is now working at the nursing home where my grandpa is staying which is fantastic. She passed in the higher part of her class and loves what she is doing. I guess in all of this it might sound alright, but i'm still so scared that im not going to be able to handle being a single mom, babies daddy is there but not all "there" if you know what I mean. I guess drugs and alcohol will do that to you. I just wish he would go back to being the person I fell for, he was just a geek too scared to barely touch a girl and had never done drugs in his life. But that will never happen. Those days are over... :( I guess I'm just worried that money is going to be an issue, maybe I won't be a good mom, i'm just waiting for my BF J to leave me once the baby comes cuz he will finally realize what i've been going thru and that its not just me and him anymore and he wont like the whole idea. Hes weirded out by it now which i completely understand shes not even his. I just wish that i knew without a doubt that hes not going to leave me high and dry cuz he gets too scared. I know we will always be friends but ahhhhH! Thats not what I want to happen. Thats not the way I want to know him. I'm afraid that all the things that some of my family believes will be proven true that I wont be able to handle it on my own that I will fail miserably. It sucks that for the first time in my life, I'm actually getting back on my feet and making something of myself and I could use/deserve the support of my family emensely but they always see the faults. I guess thats my fault but i've worked so hard to turn that around and it just didn't work. Anyway, I have to get going, i have to go work some OT. anyway i'll update more this weekend, i have my childbirth class tonight and tomorrow.

Another Day Another Dollar.

There is one advantage to working alot, good pay. Although when you work so much you don't have much else you do with your time but try and sleep and eat it gets a little more interesting. I really enjoy working at Charter, I love the people I work with and sometimes I have fun with my customers too but there are also those days that just suck because no matter what you do it isn't good enough for any customer and you are the person they are going to take all their problems out on. I have been striving to get promoted for over 6 months now and I'm very close to getting there but there are many many other people that have more experience and have worked their so much longer than I have its just still a shot in the dark. So, I took the opportunity the other day and applied at Mayo, for various jobs. I'm hoping they call me because that would be outstanding but if they don't I'll just keep trying. I also applied for a couple of jobs at Olmstead Medical Center. It would be really nice to get into Mayo then I would be able to go to school and have it paid for. It would be great but who knows what will happen.
Anyway, I had my gestational diabetes test the other day I haven't gotten my test results yet unfortunately but hopefully by Monday I will. I'm in the home stretch as my doctor would say, I'm 28 weeks this coming Wednesday. I was worried about not gaining enough weight...well not anymore ha ha. I've gained 18 pounds in the last 6 weeks which is alot for me! I've always had a hard time putting on weight but not this time thank goodness! My doc still wants to see me gain quite a bit more but I don't absolutely need too gain as much as she would like, its just that my BMI was lower than normal when I went in at the beginning. But anyway, I'm going to go enjoy the beautiful day outside. I'll write more soon!

Tired all the time.

Its this never ending cycle, no matter how much sleep I get its never enough. I guess it doesn't help that I work all the time. I feel like I never leave that place. I mean don't get me wrong I like my job because I love the people I work with, its just the customers are emotionally and sometimes physically draining it stinks. Also trying to get noticed and improve in my own work makes it harder also, trying to get promoted. And my emotional roller coaster sucks too. I hate not being able to control my emotions. I just have to keep in mind that it will all be worth it in the end.